Now that I have reached 100 posts on my blog, I thought it would be a great time to take a closer look at just what goes into making a post and thus a blog. So what I am about to show you is a rare glimpse into the mind of the blogger. You will see how posts are formulated, the endless hours of effort that go into creating the post, and of course, the big payoff. I hope you enjoy this adventure!
STEP 1: Formulate the Idea
The first step is one of the most important, as without an idea, how can you have a post? Ideas can come from anywhere, you have to keep an open mind and let the ideas hit you in the face, so to speak. For example, you might see a funny picture that you feel compelled to share with the world, such as:
STEP 2: Consume Coffee
After you get your idea, the next step in the process is to consume some coffee. My coffee of choice is Starbucks, as shown below, but any coffee will do. Actually, lattes will not do, as they are for wimps. But any other coffee which contains caffeine should work fine! One thing to note is that you will not be able to blog if you go to Starbucks and order an extra hot, low fat, no whip, half-shot latte. Drink water with food coloring and post on a forum instead, then jump off a cliff for spending $4 on your “coffee“.
This is a vital step, as you will need the caffeine to make you feel alert, awake, and upbeat for step three.
STEP 3: Consume Alcohol
Of course drinking all that coffee in the previous step will do nothing except get you wired! And I don’t know about you but I can’t type very well while my hands are jittery, let alone put my post idea into words. So the obvious solution is to drink some alcohol and bring yourself back down to earth, as I can be seen doing here:
This step will vary from person to person on what exactly you drink, and how much you drink. I generally recommend you stay away from the cheap stuff and go straight to hard alcohol, as it will probably improve the quality of your posts.
STEP 4: Take a moment to think
You will probably need a moment to sober up, let alone think, if you completed step 3 as per my recommendations. Usually this step is quite short, as you need to be slightly drunk for the next step to work properly. Typically I think about my post like this for a while:
STEP 5: Consume Coke
As I am sure you have guessed by now, you need to be prepared when writing a post. The amount of work involved can be staggering! This step is quite straightfoward, you need to consume some Coke to bring you back up after that alcohol brought you down. However, pay close attention! This step will only be successful if you consume a Coca-Cola product! If you drink something like Pepsi or another imitator, you are probably the type of person that would order the weird coffee I described in step 2. In this case, you should take the advice given in that step.
STEP 6: Actually Write the Post
This step might be overlooked in all the fun you are having, but obviously, its sort of important! You must work hard to fight off the effects of the previous three steps and transform your idea in an understandable post – no easy feat, let me tell you. As you can see, I work very hard at this step:
STEP 7: Advertise Your Post
After you have gone through the effort of writing your post, you need to get out there and advertise it! This can be done in a number of ways, such as spam, annoying popup ads, or the best way – in person:
Effective advertising will bring you readership on a consistent basis! Usually handing out some sort of free food will work well.
STEP 8: Prepare for the Rewards
Yes there are some good rewards for creating a good post, but you must be prepared. Sometimes the rewards can be overwhelming, so you might want to complete this step before drinking the alcohol in step 3, ensuring you are coherent. You know what they say, a picture is worth a thousand words:
STEP 9: Reap the benefits of being a popular blogger!
Let’s face it, you don’t blog for the money! And whilst you might blog for the fame, social interactions, or just to share your opinion, these are nothing more than facades for your REAL reason. You blog for the ladies, and nothing more. Its all about the ladies! And its true what they say, bloggers get all the best girls!
Now its time to do it all over again! Better get to the store and buy more coke!
STEP 10: Repeat
And that’s it! You now know all ten steps to becoming a successful blogger! I hope you enjoyed this little adventure into the mind of the blogger, and I look forward to reading your blogs now that you have employed the many suggestions found in this article.
Thanks for reading, and happy blogging!