SPECIAL! Post #100!

Yes I have finally reached 100 posts on my blog! This is a major milestone for me, and I look forward to many more posts in the future. After I had my 99th post completed, I thought to myself – post #100 needs to be special! So I went looking for answers, and I asked Dickson and Andrew for suggestions.

Dickson: porn!
Andrew: porn!

Andrew later helped me come up with a better idea, which I have called “Inside the Blogger’s Mind“. As it was quite lengthly, I decided to turn it into an article. I hope you enjoy it!

Of course, we live in a democratic world, so I cannot ignore the desires of the people! Enjoy your porn boys!

Thanks for reading!

Inside the Blogger’s Mind

Now that I have reached 100 posts on my blog, I thought it would be a great time to take a closer look at just what goes into making a post and thus a blog. So what I am about to show you is a rare glimpse into the mind of the blogger. You will see how posts are formulated, the endless hours of effort that go into creating the post, and of course, the big payoff. I hope you enjoy this adventure!

STEP 1: Formulate the Idea
The first step is one of the most important, as without an idea, how can you have a post? Ideas can come from anywhere, you have to keep an open mind and let the ideas hit you in the face, so to speak. For example, you might see a funny picture that you feel compelled to share with the world, such as:


STEP 2: Consume Coffee
After you get your idea, the next step in the process is to consume some coffee. My coffee of choice is Starbucks, as shown below, but any coffee will do. Actually, lattes will not do, as they are for wimps. But any other coffee which contains caffeine should work fine! One thing to note is that you will not be able to blog if you go to Starbucks and order an extra hot, low fat, no whip, half-shot latte. Drink water with food coloring and post on a forum instead, then jump off a cliff for spending $4 on your “coffee“.

This is a vital step, as you will need the caffeine to make you feel alert, awake, and upbeat for step three.

STEP 3: Consume Alcohol
Of course drinking all that coffee in the previous step will do nothing except get you wired! And I don’t know about you but I can’t type very well while my hands are jittery, let alone put my post idea into words. So the obvious solution is to drink some alcohol and bring yourself back down to earth, as I can be seen doing here:

This step will vary from person to person on what exactly you drink, and how much you drink. I generally recommend you stay away from the cheap stuff and go straight to hard alcohol, as it will probably improve the quality of your posts.

STEP 4: Take a moment to think
You will probably need a moment to sober up, let alone think, if you completed step 3 as per my recommendations. Usually this step is quite short, as you need to be slightly drunk for the next step to work properly. Typically I think about my post like this for a while:

STEP 5: Consume Coke
As I am sure you have guessed by now, you need to be prepared when writing a post. The amount of work involved can be staggering! This step is quite straightfoward, you need to consume some Coke to bring you back up after that alcohol brought you down. However, pay close attention! This step will only be successful if you consume a Coca-Cola product! If you drink something like Pepsi or another imitator, you are probably the type of person that would order the weird coffee I described in step 2. In this case, you should take the advice given in that step.

STEP 6: Actually Write the Post
This step might be overlooked in all the fun you are having, but obviously, its sort of important! You must work hard to fight off the effects of the previous three steps and transform your idea in an understandable post – no easy feat, let me tell you. As you can see, I work very hard at this step:

STEP 7: Advertise Your Post
After you have gone through the effort of writing your post, you need to get out there and advertise it! This can be done in a number of ways, such as spam, annoying popup ads, or the best way – in person:

Effective advertising will bring you readership on a consistent basis! Usually handing out some sort of free food will work well.

STEP 8: Prepare for the Rewards
Yes there are some good rewards for creating a good post, but you must be prepared. Sometimes the rewards can be overwhelming, so you might want to complete this step before drinking the alcohol in step 3, ensuring you are coherent. You know what they say, a picture is worth a thousand words:

STEP 9: Reap the benefits of being a popular blogger!
Let’s face it, you don’t blog for the money! And whilst you might blog for the fame, social interactions, or just to share your opinion, these are nothing more than facades for your REAL reason. You blog for the ladies, and nothing more. Its all about the ladies! And its true what they say, bloggers get all the best girls!

STEP 10: Repeat
Now its time to do it all over again! Better get to the store and buy more coke!

And that’s it! You now know all ten steps to becoming a successful blogger! I hope you enjoyed this little adventure into the mind of the blogger, and I look forward to reading your blogs now that you have employed the many suggestions found in this article.

Thanks for reading, and happy blogging!

Made an easy $20 today!

I am taking Marketing 301 this semster, and it has been a pretty interesting and useful class. I am considering taking a higher level class next year, the only thing I don’t like about it is research!

As part of our mark for 301, we need to get three research credits by participating in various research projects. So I went to one today which looked at the relationship between manufacturers and retailers and how they set their prices. All we had to do was set either the manufacturer’s price or the retailer’s price, depending on which role you were assigned. You entered the price trying to maximize profit on a laptop which was networked to another player in the room of the opposite role. All in all, it was a neat research project!

The students in MARK 301 (I was the only one in this session) were paid $5 plus their profit divided by 50,000. The game had 30 turns, and you make a certain amount of profit each turn depending on the prices set. The rest of the students were from a higher class, MARK 342 I think, and they got paid $12 plus the profit divided by 50,000. I saw a few of the students collect like $22 or $20 and change, and I figured, ah I should get like $10 or so. Seems I did quite well in this game as I walked away with $20!

It was easy enough to be a lab rat and get paid for it, but I don’t think I would enjoy administering the research for a class. Right now no MARK classes scheduled for next year, but there’s still time, who knows!

Now its off to work on the CMPUT 391 project – effort that is long overdue. Maybe if I got paid to do it…

[Listening to: Sk8er Boi – Avril Lavigne – Let Go (03:26)]

Two Dollar Lattes!

Yesterday afternoon I went with Dickson to meet Sharon and Annie at the Second Cup on campus. Its always interesting when we get together, but here is a brief rundown on what happened:

1) I declared that lattes are for wimps – as Sharon was drinking one…
2) Dickson and I were introduced to Sharon and Annie’s mutual friend Catherine (or Katherine?). Very nice girl who apparently has a boyfriend and was recently engaged. The funny thing is that when Sharon told me that, she said it like I cared…like they were hurdles or something…Please!
3) Another person sitting next to us overheard our discussion and ended up chatting with us. Nice to meet you Barb!
4) For some odd reason, Catherine got the idea that I should be a teacher…

In any case, the plan is to do the same next Tuesday, so hopefully Sharon and Annie don’t get in the way! “Shes a nice girl don’t corrupt her!”. Settle down and go with the flow ladies!

You Gotta See It To Believe It!

I have read quite a few interesting things over the last couple days, so I thought I would post some of the links here for you to see. Of course, I should be working on 391, but we all know blogging is more fun 🙂

Now to pretend to work on 391…

Edmonton Oilers at Cineplex Odeon!

Tonight I went with Sharon to watch the Edmonton Oilers battle the Los Angeles Kings at South Edmonton Common. This is the second time the Oilers have offered a pay-per-view game at the theater (and once at the Jubilee) and it was quite amazing!

There is definitely something different about watching a game with a group of people. I mean at home, I cheer and stuff, but I don’t stand up for the national anthem! Though I suppose you should. At the theater, everyone stands up, even the hesitant ones. Interesting how the group dynamics take over. Its not the same as being at the game obviously, but it was still a pretty energized atmosphere! Sharon remarked that it was like being at the game and having commentary (and no drunk people).

One thing that was disappointing was the quality of the picture. I know it is being projected, but its not like its a regular cable feed either – its either digital satellite or digital cable. It was a little fuzzy, but I guess you only notice it when the game becomes slow (which it didn’t much tonight).

Sharon brought me a coke, which was nice as the theater only serves Pepsi, so at the second intermission I went to get nachos and asked her what she wanted. Her reply? “Hot water”. Of all the things to need in a theater! So I bring her a glass of steaming water and she makes tea. Picture someone making tea in a theater of hockey fans, most of whom would probably have had a cold one if they were being sold!

With the win, the Oilers move into eight place in the Western conference, and more importantly into the final playoff spot. Can’t wait to see Edmonton destroy Dallas on Wednesday! GO OILERS GO!

Jesus was a robot?

Now that I have your attention with my eye-grabbing headline, let me explain! Ananova (which USED to be a credible news aggregation source) has a news item that says a robot Christ was used to make Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. They go on to claim that Gibson plans to make another Bibilical epic based on a Jewish revolt in 200BC.

Do I believe this? Not for a second, but then again, who knows. It is a rather interesting idea though isn’t it? That the character of Jesus in the movie wasn’t portrayed by a human? Which means it couldn’t possibly have a religious conviction of its own? Something to think about. Of course, I could be wrong and robots might be able to develop their own religious convictions. I guess we’ll find out in Isaac Asimov’s “I, Robot” which comes out this year starring Will Smith.

Found via GizModo.

Oilers Win! Go Schumi Go!

Well it is a Friday of important sporting events. The Oilers played Nashville tonight, and after what sounded like a very sloppy game (wasn’t on TV, stupid Sportsnet, why show NCAA over our own sports team? bloody morons) the Oilers came away with a 5-4 victory and a much needed 2 points. Now I hope they can continue their winning ways, especially Monday in Los Angeles as I will be watching the game from South Edmonton Common with Yeo!

Tonight is also the qualifying for the 2004 Malaysian Grand Prix. Michael Schumacher topped the time sheets in the morning practice session, but Kimi Raikonnen was fastest later in the day. Hopefully Schumi and Rubens can come out of qualifying with the front row!

[Listening to: Last Train Home – Lostprophets – Start Something (04:35)]

Tsk Tsk Ladies!

Well I am sure you have all heard Eamon‘s “F*ck It (Don’t Want You Back)”. If you haven’t, you should, its an interesting song. Probably the most profane song played on the radio in history! Eamon is hosting Most Requested for Carson Daly tonight.

Anyway, of course someone wrote a “reply”. A female artist named Frankie (or Frankee?) has written a song called “F*ck You Right Back”. It’s also a pretty good song, but this lyric from the chorus made me laugh:

F*ck what I did was your fault somehow

Oh how I laughed! So typical of a female! (I expect the wrath of Megan in the comments now!)